deep thoughts... not really

Master Cleanse (Lemonade diet): Day 1

2010-11-07T09:37:00.002-05:00

This morning, I made cream of wheat for Braden and Chex Mix Yogurt for Maddox.... and juiced lemons for the day. For MY breakfast, my first glass of many for this diet. Something I need to change is actually measuring the correct amounts of cayenne pepper and maple syrup, because the first glass is SPICY!! Although, I think I could get used to that taste as Cayenne pepper is one of the best natural healers available to us.

It's 9:41am, and I'm not hungry... but the stash of Halloween candy was tempting.

Get Fit

2010-10-14T10:58:00.002-04:00

I am now making the effort to get back into great shape. My good friend, Brian Davis, has dropped 40 pounds in 15 weeks which serves as my inspiration for this newfound desire to "get fit."

What failed in the past was the lack of motivation as well as not creating a way to make it FUN. So, I have a new strategy. I have created a competition between myself, Brian, and the one and only Josh Britt. Our competitions range from weight loss to agility, strength, and speed which include the following events:

1. Weight loss by percentage

2. Bicep Size

3. 3 Point shootout

4. Football throwing accuracy

5. Punt Accuracy

6. # of consecutive 30 yard field goals

7. Football longest toss

8. Punt distance

9. Longest field goal

10. Homerun Derby (softball)

11. 40-Yard Dash

12. 1 Mile run

I'm thinking the key to getting fit is to make it interesting and to mix it up... which I think we have accomplished.

Monday was my first official weigh in, and I started at 192. My biceps measured 14 1/2 for the right arm, and 14 for the left. This morning, I weighed in at 187... we'll see if that number holds. I assume it is just a fluctuation, and not actual weight loss just yet, but who knows...

My goals are:

1. DRINK MORE WATER, cut out caffeine.

2. Target weight of 180.

3. Bicep size to increase to 17" on BOTH arms. (come on left arm, I know you can do it too!!)

4. Run a mile in under 5:30.

5. Complete the full 90 days of P90X.

Wish me luck...

Google Voice

2010-07-28T13:15:00.006-04:00

Google Voice is supposedly the best voicemail transcribing product available in the free market... However, it seems to have trouble hearing most voices to anywhere near 100% accuracy. Here are a few voicemails I've gotten from Google Voice:

"Hey, Buddy, I was watching very soon. Through the the up doing the same time. Just calling to wish you have birthday and sorry I missed lunch today with the force you're out of town them and discuss the I guess just give me a shout tomorrow. They're like per day here bye."

"You. Hey man day. The that. Well, That's all you can call talk to you Later. Bye bye."

Worst one yet:
"Hey, hey hey hi, hey hello. With the cal. Hey Yeah, hey, okay bye hello. Well, bye. Dot, hey hi, what's up. Group, 2, hey hello hello. The, hey. Hello. No Yeah, yeah, you know, okay. You You. Hey HI hey. I'm, haha."

This just in:
"Hey, gimme a call and talk about the refrigerator. Not. Love you."

2010-05-17T15:12:00.004-04:00

sorry bro, had to test out this function on the blog.... nothing personal

"Kids say the darndest things"

2010-04-01T12:23:00.010-04:00

A compilation of humorous things I've heard since becoming a father:

Maddox:

Pointing to his elbow while in parent hell (aka- McDonalds playground)- "Mama, I bumped my rainbow"

Braden:

After explaining to him (why, I don't know) what diarrhea was, he replied, "Poop that comes outta you wee wee?"

Maddox:

"Daddy, what you doin?"

"Putting on my belt."

"So you can be safe?"

Me: "Maddox, you need a spankin?"

His response: "You gonna bust me up?"

When talking about going to school in a couple of weeks:

Mommy: "Maddox, you get to make all new friends!"

Maddox: "You gonna make me some friends in the oven?"

Predictable, but nonetheless funny joke

2010-03-23T10:48:00.002-04:00

Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they arrived at the location of the crash, the disaster was catastrophic. The aircraft was completely destroyed with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered the farm. The sheriff and his men searched the wreckage for survivers, but there were no remains, including that of the President.

The sheriff saw his friend, Hank, plowing the field nearby as if nothing had happened. They hurried over to the man's tractor. "Hank," the sheriff yelled panting and out of breath. "Did you see this terrible accident happen?"

"Yep. Sure did," Hank said seemingly unconcerned.

"Do you know that this airplane is Air Force One... the one for the President of the United States??"

"Yep."

"Were there any survivors?!"

"Nope. They's all kilt straight out," the farmer answered. "I done buried them all myself. Took me most of the mornin."

"President Obama is dead!?" the sheriff shouted in disbelief.

"Well, he kept-a-sayin he wasn't... but you know what a liar he is."

sorry if you wasted your time reading this....

State of the "Union"

2010-03-23T09:36:00.003-04:00

On Sunday evening I went to bed in the USA. On Monday morning, I woke up in the USSA... I find it hard to believe that despite the vast majority of our citizens NOT WANTING THIS BILL TO PASS, President Obama and his pals found a way to push it down our throats... and yes, it still has to pass through the Senate, blah blah blah.... It looks like its a done deal. Express your opinion by signing this petition: https://www.aclj.org/Petition/Default.aspx?sc=3559&ac=1

We are still a democratic republic, but those representatives currently in both houses are not accurately representing the same people that voted them into office. Lets not allow this administration to ruin America as we once knew it. As a representative democracy, we need to see that those not representing the beliefs and opinions of the people should LOSE THEIR JOBS! They aren't in office to make decisions for us. Rather, they are there to represent a group of people and best represent that group's political and moral stance on legislation and key issues. This is not what is happening! Do some research on your reps and see if they are voting as you would have them vote. IF NOT... VOTE THEM OUT OF OFFICE!!!

One last thing...

All you pro-choice people say you don't think its right for anyone to "control" a woman's womb... but you're somehow okay with the gov't controlling your entire body... thanks for being... well, stupid...

My 2010 NFL Mock Draft

2010-03-14T09:37:00.010-04:00

...UNCAPPED YEAR! Big money will be available, and I see defensive players taking most of it. If you can't play defense in the NFL, you won't be able to navigate your way through the playoffs... or even get there. Having a high octane Offense can earn you enough wins to get to the dance, but without defense, you'll never get to elite status.

1. St Louis Rams- although they need to select Ndamukong Suh, they will probably go with QB Sam Bradford as their hopes for a franchise quarterback are possibly realized. This pick will not turn around their 2nd worst points allowed ranking from last season.

2. Detroit Lions- they've addressed some needs on defense through free agency, so I believe they go after an athletic playmaker or possibly a DB. Although it'd be tough to throw top pick money to a DB, I think they go with safety Eric Berry.

3. Tampa Bay Bucs- They might be set at QB, but they need Ndamukong Suh. They struggled with getting pressure on the opposing QB, and Suh should provide an almost immediate upgrade. He's very disruptive and always in the minds of offensive players. He will improve the Bucs ability to stop the run. They gave up more yards than any other NFL team last season.

4. Washington Redskins- No question, they need offense. Whether it be a new QB or better protection, they need to put up more points. I'd give Campbell another year or two and go with OT Anthony Davis from Rutgers. Along with free agency moves, they should be able to address the issues with getting QB help. I hope in later rounds that they can get a playmaker such as Jordan Shipley, who should be available by the time their 2nd pick comes around.

5. Kansas City Chiefs- Another team that struggled with putting pressure on the QB. They need a strong pass rusher that is also able to break blocks and stop the run. I don't see them passing up Gerald McCoy.

So, that's my top 5. I'll finish the 1st round soon...

Time Change

2010-03-14T07:36:00.004-04:00

Spring forward sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong! I'm sitting here after trying to go back to sleep since 5:00 am (or 4AM, not really sure... or 6AM). My AT&T work phone and bedroom alarm clock both say it's 6:30, but my verizon phone, the oven, and my laptop all say 7:30... I don't remember adjusting the oven clock last night... I guess all this really proves is that either AT&T or Verizon may or may not be the better cell phone company... those of you considering switching over to get the iphone, you're welcome.

How I still have an appetite I'm not sure...

2010-03-05T14:17:00.000-05:00

So my life seems to be themed right now with... crap. yes, crap... for a couple of reasons.

First, my back yard is full of it. I become aware of this every time I step outside to get the dogs more water. I was again reminded of the above-ground sewage plant that has become my back yard when Keri, my sister-in-law, arrived one night in order to babysit the next morning. I didn't wake up to let her in despite the 12 phone calls and 1 text message. She went into my back yard so she could beat on my bedroom window to wake me and, just as a bonus, scare the living $#!* out of me. Once she got in, I was pretty sure her shoe brought in a little surprise. Yep, another land mine victim.

Second, My 2 1/2 year old decided that he is no longer potty trained. If I haven't heard his voice within a 2 minute time period, I know he's in a corner somewhere or behind a door soiling himself... not sure what happened, but we've had several issues lately. One that stands out was a couple of weeks ago... Maddox decided to go behind the couch to lay low, undetected, so he could do the dirty deed. Minutes later, one of my senses made it painfully obvious what had occurred. In anger and frustration, I grabbed him, took him to the toilet to sit there in timeout to consider the error of his ways. Upon approaching the crime scene, Braden, my 4 year old, was standing there with the expression on his face that he had just seen a ghost. I said, "Braden, whats up man??" His response- "Daddy.... Mady.... just.... ate.... the.... whole.... thing." The moral of the story... kids and dogs are capable of extremely disgusting things...

2010 Olympics... so far

2010-02-19T18:24:00.000-05:00

Whether it be Lee Greenwood or Shaun White that brings my USA pride to surface, I can easily say it matters not... I am proud to be an American. As it stands now, the US leads the medal count with 20 over the next closest competitor at 11, Germany.

I've never even tried snowboarding, and until recently, I thought Shaun White was just another x-games skateboarder (in other words, I had zero interest)... then he strapped up for the icey festivities and took center stage (and the center podium).

As an American, it has been our tradition to be a hevily favored flop job when it comes to the winter olympics... but, if you happened to be casually watching the events on February 17th, your perception changed, and you are now undoubtedly hooked as I am. I can say without an ounce of shame that I am proud to be an american because of our atheletes and what they accomplished that day. Go USA!!! PS- I am starting a petition to get ice swimming added to the winter sports just so Phelps can join in on the fun.